Friday, February 4, 2011

Discouraged


I have just finished a very discouraging week. Well….actually, I’m not done yet. I still have a day and a half to go. This week I’ve come to the realization that volunteer work is still work—just as mundane and frustrating as any other job, only you don’t get paid for your efforts.
I just finished trying to teach the group of home-schooled teenagers…impossible. These are the kids that Didi didn’t send to school because she was afraid they would get involved and gangs and drugs. I went in to teach them believing fully that if I just went in there with enough energy and preparation that things would go smoothly. Wrong. These kids are masters at slouching, ignoring, and speaking about things that have nothing to do with the English lesson (although, I can’t honestly say they weren’t, because they were all speaking in a different language). Sigh. I only teach them for the next week until Paul gets back from his visa run in Cambodia….but I really want to TEACH them….not just bore them for an hour every day. I can’t decide if I need to be more creative or more strict—maybe both. I came up with educational games for the kids to play, and they simply refused to cooperate. They seemed to respond better when I had them sit around the table and lectured to them about the subject. Isn’t that a little abnormal? I thought kids were supposed to learn better with hands on, interactive things….I’m really confused.
Also, I’m MAJORLY struggling with the fundraising end of things here. The internet here is not reliable and is often not working for half of the day. The information I need access to is not easily available, and, to make matters worse, I’ve never written a grant before in my life. I’m the only person they have working on fundraising right now, and they’re asking me to raise 21,000 dollars for a tractor before we run out of clean water in March. Needless to say, I’ve been feeling kind of frustrated at times (yes, that was an understatement.)
Why am I here? Am I even making a difference? Can I do this day after day for six whole months?

On a happier note, I saw this the other day:

It made me smile.

4 comments:

  1. Kimber, I believe you are making more a difference in these teenagers/childrens lives than you think. It is a struggle, but you're doing well! Keep it up and remember that you are loved. :o)

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  2. Dear Kimber,
    I am a firm believer that YOU can do anything you put your mind to :).
    Every action affects something. I have no doubt that you actions are doing good even if the fruits of it are not obvious!!!

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  3. Hey, Kimber,

    You are a ROCK STAR! Your efforts make a difference. Uncle Stephen has written many grants in his career, maybe he could help with a few pointers. I will tell him of your challenges. Hang in there, we all are cheering loud and strong for Kimber Worwood!
    Love, Aunt Janette

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  4. It's nice to see that you're recognized, even if it's as a foreigner. I think that I would like something like that on my car window... Why don't we have anything like that for our foreigners? We are a 'beacon of light' that tries to keep as many people out as possible...

    Teenagers--I don't know. I was a weirdy and liked the intellectual teaching as much or more than the hands on. I felt awkward doing some of the things they wanted me to do. (Kind of like how I feel when I've tried taebo videos... I can't believe I'm doing it until I'm done because of how stupid I feel. Afterwards, though, I realize that I enjoyed it.)

    I have some other thoughts about discouragement, but I'm going to save those for an e-mail to you. :)

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